As the Yiddish saying goes: אזוי ווי ס'קריסטל'ט זיך, אזוי יידיש'ט זיך
Since pre-memory days Yidden used to update themselves in the local Mikveh (=bath house), where all the news, gossip and jokes were traded amongst the wet patrons, the sweaty labourers and the steamy youngsters. Between the lathe and the wash-down, you could hear who lost his business, which office block went at auction or whose car was towed away (depending on the exact point in our long history of shmooze).
Nowadays, as the showers are running at full blast, one has to literally shout above the din - not for everyone. So the alternative is to have it out in the warm, waters of the basin, where the longer you stay - the more informed you become of the stories that are making waves (excuse the pun).
MikveLeaks - unlike WikiLeaks - are so sophisticated that news stories is being announced even before they happen.
The story is told of the American president (pick your favourite) who was told about this phenomena, so he wanted to see it first hand. Disguising himself as a Chossid he entered a Mikve in Brooklyn and duly started undressing. An eerie silence reigned in the room, as people - in various stages of dressing and undressing - were silently preparing themselves for the incoming Shabbos. Not knowing what's suddenly changed from what he was told, he turned to his neighbour and - in his best Yiddish that he could muster, which he picked up in his Shabbos-Goy days - asked his neighbour on the bench: "Vos iz azoy shtil haynt?" (why is it so quiet today?). The answer more than confirmed what he wanted to hear, as the guy sitting next to him told him in an undertone - whilst tying his shoelaces: didn't you hear what they were telling two days ago, that the president of the United States would be visiting today, for the purpose of listening in on our conversation?!"
So if someone tells you WIkiLeaks is a new invention, just lead him down to the Mikve...
First published on 27/11/2012
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