GRANDPARENT’S ANSWERING MACHINE

Good morning. . . . At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ... 

If you are one of our children, press 1

If you need us to stay with your children, press 2

If you want to borrow our car, press 3

If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 4

If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5

If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered  to your home, press 7 

If you want to come to eat here, press 8

If you need money, press 9

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or take us out tonight - start talking! we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

First published on 21 July 2014, on Jewish P.O.S.T. - the Jewish Voice for the People Of South Tottenham (now defunct).