©ycohen@baer.org.uk
Friday night vaadim in Yeshivah during the winter, have always been a cosy time to meet with the bochurim on different territory. A number of years during one of these vaadim we played a game, where each bochur had the opportunity to ask a question of whoever they wanted to, but then after giving his reply the questioned bochur was allowed to ask his questioner a question. It is a great game for bonding, and on a family holiday with a few hours to spare, it really is fun and revealing.
There are however two iron clad rules, number one is nothing-to-be-discussed-out-of- the-room, and two if you don’t answer your question, you are out of the game, you cannot stay in the room just be an observer!
One bochur, let me call him Zalmy, with a little more guts than the rest, asked me a question. It could not have been too personal, because I don’t remember what it was.
But this was my opportunity to ask him a long- awaited question. I noticed that Zalmy had begun applying himself seriously to learning and davening, and in general his entire attitude to Yeshivah had matured.
‘Zalmy’ I began, ‘something has happened to you this zman, you have really done very well. Everyone notices it, your friends, your rabbeim, there seems to have been a great change in your attitude, what has happened? Which Godol did you get a brocho from, what segulah did you use?”.
Quiet in the room, all eyes turn to Zalmy – does he know the answer? If he does, will he prepared to tell us? Have I pushed him too far?
‘I don’t know but it could be…. you know I used to be crazy on …… I used to have mine in yeshiva and was on it, day and night.
Well, succas bein hazmanim I was in the park with my …… doing all my shtik, when suddenly this goy comes over to me and says ‘Hey you’re pretty good at that, how long have you been doing it?’.
‘About a year’ I replied.
‘That’s cool’ my admirer continued, ‘I do it professionally, and have been at it for eleven years, and I am not much better than you’.
I came home and began thinking, if I had been so successful at ……… because I had applied myself to it for just a year, what if I left ……… behind when I returned to yeshivah next zman and gave my learning and davening all that extra attention and focus.
Well that is exactly what I did, when I came back this zman to yeshivah, I left ……. at home. Perhaps this is what has helped me this zman, and perhaps this is what you have noticed’.
We all sat there pretty stunned, a bit like hearing someone’s confession, but not in a bad way, it was a thrilling moment.
Many times, I have noticed guys caught by their (trouser) braces, they won’t unhitch themselves from their mishagasen, they don’t understand what is preventing them from moving forward in life.
A classical case in the תורה comes to mind. During our first ספירת העומר, shortly after coming out of מצרים, before קבלת התורה they are in the unique state, having משה רבינו as their ‘life coach’. They need to climb from מ"ט שערי טומאה all the way up to be זוכה to become the עם סגולה. They ran out of food in the middle of אייר, and were suffering. Moishe davens and then returns with the following:
[1]וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה וְאַהֲרֹן אֶל-כָּל-בְּנֵי יִשְֹרָאֵל עֶרֶב וִידַעְתֶּם כִּי ד' הוֹצִיא אֶתְכֶם מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם:
The ספורנו gives us an incredible insight:
(ו) ערב וידעתם. יהי רצון שמה שאמר לי שיתן לכם מזון, יהיה באופן זה שיתן לכם בערב צרכי הערב, בענין שתדעו שהקל יתברך הוציא אתכם לגמרי מארץ מצרים, כי יוציאכם גם ממנהגיה, שהייתם יושבים שם על סיר הבשר, בלתי זמן סעודה קבועה כבהמות, כאמרם ז"ל (יומא דף ע"ה:) בתחילה היו ישראל כתרנגולים המנקרים באשפה, עד שבא משה רבינו וקבע להם זמן סעודה:
Moishe davened that the food that the yidden will now dine on, should not be in a 24/6 drive-through, MacDavid-fashion. When you were in מִצְרָיִם, you where food addicts, eating constantly like a bunch of hens pecking in the courtyard, without fixed meal times.
They used to say, ‘It easier to take a Jew out of Russia, than Russia out of a Jew’. Geographically the Yidden were out of מצרים, but משה recognised that they were not בני חורין yet in the fullest sense, they were still tied to the fleshpots of Egypt. ‘Moishe Rabeinu established fixed meal times’, that was said about משה רבינו in his Hesped!
You cannot grow in רוחניות, you cannot move ahead if your mind and psyche tied are anchored in a never ending pursuit of materialistic goals.
To be free and untethered to our physical needs, allowing our neshamos to be truly free an undisturbed, and to tend our really important business, the business of life itself.
The world throws at us more and more extras, giving us a feeling that if we don’t have them we will be deprived. These extras don’t truly liberate us, rather they are usually successful in creating a craving and an addiction, convincing us that our happiness and quality of life are dependent on them alone.
Can we notch up another level in our personal קבלת התורה, by unhitching ourselves from somewhere or something?
ואין לך בן חורין אלא מי שעוסק בתורה
Sure we need to eat sleep and to chill – sometimes. But the point is addiction, ‘I can’t manage without’. I want to be able to say I am no longer a slave. Yes I enjoy it, but I am letting go, I am in control, I am truly liberated.
The luxuries in life are geshmak and even have a place in life, when they help us reach our destination. A top of the range luxury car fitted with an opulent interior and vast array of executive luxury features designed to give its driver ‘divine ride comfort’:
“It comes standard with soft-closing doors, heated front and rear seats, a power trunk lid, front and rear parking sensors, a backup camera, a blind spot monitoring system, navigation, a 14-speaker Meridian audio system, a USB port, Bluetooth, satellite and HD Radio and an 8-inch touch-screen display. Options and features available on higher trims include adaptive cruise control, four-zone automatic climate control, ventilated front and rear seats, reclining rear seats with massage, a rear-seat entertainment system and an upgraded stereo system”.
Truly amazing. But what if the owner wants to go one step further, and insists on having the driver’s seat removed and replaced with a luxurious comfortable bed. We would say, ‘he’s lost it’. Sure you can make your car into a luxurious expensive toy, but don’t forget it’s a car, to get you from point A to B. The bed is going to put you to sleep, and the only car you will be going in then, will be a ……
תורה has given us purpose in life, תורה gives us direction in life. Sure the רבש''ע wants us to live, and he has also given us sights along the way to enjoy. but if we forget that we are driving a car towards our final destination and try and transform the car into a bedroom – that’s where the trouble and frustration starts.
We received our car on פסח - the physical liberation חירות from מצרים, but what would we do with the great vehicle, and where would we go?
How fortunate are we, that we have been given our route and our directions from The Navigator. שבועות זמן מתן תורתנו is the time to refocus and check our bearings to ensure that we truly liberated, to be able to follow through on our mission.
בָּרוּךְ אֱלֹקינוּ, שֶׁבְּרָאָֽנוּ לִכְבוֹדוֹ, וְהִבְדִּילָֽנוּ מִן הַתּוֹעִים, וְנָֽתַן לָֽנוּ תּוֹרַת אֱמֶת, וְחַיֵּי עוֹלָם נָטַע בְּתוֹכֵֽנוּ, הוּא יִפְתַּח לִבֵּֽנוּ בְּתוֹרָתוֹ וְיָשֵׂם בְּלִבֵּֽנוּ אַהֲבָתוֹ וְיִרְאָתוֹ, וְלַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנוֹ וּלְעָבְדוֹ בְּלֵבָב שָׁלֵם, לְמַֽעַן לֹא נִיגַע לָרִיק, וְלֹא נֵלֵד לַבֶּהָלָה:
Gut Yom Tov, warm regards
Yechiel
©ycohen@baer.org.uk
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