Thursday, March 30

Judaism in America ca. 2019

Q:  Why did Adam and  Eve have a perfect  marriage?
A:  He didn't have to  hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't  have to hear about the way his mother cooked 

Q:  What business is a  yenta  in?
A:   Yours.

Q:  How do Jewish wives get their children ready for dinner?
A:  They put them in the car.    

Q:  What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?
A:  Nothing at all  

Q:  Define "genius"
A:  An average student with a Jewish mother

Q:  If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A:  A fur coat

Q:   What mechanical device causes the most envy in a Jewish woman?
A:   A Mercedes 550SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."

One of life's mysteries - how a 2Ib. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lbs.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.


A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.

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