Parashat Ki Teitzei – The Good vs. the Lesser Good

The first portion of our Parasha teaches us how to overcome our harmful desires. 

We learn about the laws of eshet yefat to-ar (beautiful woman).  Soldiers returning from battle are allowed to bring home a female prisoner of war.  At first sight this might seem quite strange, since the Torah forbids marrying out of the faith. 

The commentators explain this dichotomy as follows: just like a programmer knows his program inside out, the Creator of Humans knows His creations. 

When He prohibited something in the Torah – there will be a leniency, even one that is as remote as benefiting from the spoils of war, to teach us a lesson in self‑control.

This explains the connection between the verses describing the laws about eshet yefat to-ar (beautiful woman) and the laws of a Ben Sorer uMoreh (rebellious son): The Torah warns those who blindly follow their desires that ultimately, they will have to contend with a son whose actions bring sorrow and misery onto the family.

HaShem created the human being in such a way that there is a constant, internal battle between the Yetzer haTov (good inclination) and the Yetzer haRa. 

People want to enjoy life and sometimes this might lead to overindulgence or worse: transgressing a Torah law.

Our ultimate reward is earned in this world and in the world to come, when we overpower our bad inclination by following the whispers of the Yetzer haTov.

This continuous process of exercising or spiritual muscles turn us into better people: “No pain – no gain”.

However, what happens when fatigue sets in?  We are after all only human beings, each with our personal wants.

This is where the Torah allows us to sometimes ‘loosen up’ a bit, to relax and have a taste of what seems like forbidden fruit. 

Indeed, in the Gemorro (Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Chulin, 109b) we learn that when the Torah forbids something, there is a similar item that is allowed. 

Case in point: Blood is not Kosher, but the liver is allowed, although it tastes like blood.

When Yalsa, wife of the Talmudic sage Rabbi Nachman reasoned with her husband that she wants to eat something that tastes like meat mixed with milk, Rabbi Nachman placed an order with the local butcher: Barbecued Udder – a piece of meat saturated in milk, which is permitted (although this would nowadays not be available at your local butcher…).

So before plunging for a tasty bite that is beckoning, perhaps one should stop and think twice before letting a negative whim have the upper hand: the outcome might well come back with a bitter bite.

Using the analogy of a knife, we can use it for constructive or destructive ends. 

Nearer to home, we all know the admirable work done by community volunteers, day in day out.  Even during the holy day of the Sabbath, members of Hazola are Torah-bound to go all out to save the life of a patient, whilst Shabbos is kind of pushed to the sidelines. 

Our Parsha ends with the commandment to obliterate all the Amalekites, as soon as the Jewish people established themselves in the holy land of Israel.  Here too, the idea of killing a human being is abhorrent – until it pertains those who stand up to murder innocent people just because they are Jewish.

What we as thinking people might regard as murder, the Torah teaches us that one can find good in everything – within the prism of the Heavenly teachings.