Showing posts with label Mishpacha Article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mishpacha Article. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 1
Complaint
My wife was complaining that she doesn't have the time to read the Mishpacha magazine (she's Teacher Training lecturer in London Beis Yaakov Seminary and Curriculum Advisor to Beis Malka Girls School). I told her that there are two types of people in the world: Those who read the news and those who make it; she belongs to the latter category.
Time - and how to Tame it
A Rebbi sent out his student to bring him the best piece of meat the student returned with a tongue of an ox. The Rebbi thanked him and sent him out again this time asking him to bring back the most inferior quality of meat the student again returned with a tongue of an ox. The student respectfully explained to his Rebbi that the tongue can be the most precious part of a human being because with it we can accomplish so much on the other hand it can also destroy lives if we do not watch our words.
Time - the most precious commodity is handed out to human beings in the fairest manner. Everyone receives the same amount of hours per day. There is a concept called 24/7. This means that every day has 24 hours and this 24 hour cycle repeats itself seven times within a week. Then the weekly cycle starts all over again.
No matter if you speak to your cousin in Australia where for her it is already Sunday and for you it is still Motzai Shabbos or to your friend in New York which is six hours ahead, the time span of 24/7 is still the same.
Why is it therefore that some people always seem nervous and agitated because they have so much to do and too little time to do it in? Others have the same things to accomplish and they just seem to breeze calmly through life constantly claiming that they are bored because they’ve finished….If you are one of those people who never get flustered because you are always organised it is time for you to do some soul-searching to pin point your skills and recognise your strengths in order to use them to become even more efficient. You can also of course photo copy this article for family members or friends who are at their wits end.
Unfortunately there are so many people out there whose greatest enemy is the clock. They glance up at that monster whose innocent ticking sounds more like roaring to them as they see that once again they are late. Their hearts start beating fast as they try to grab whatever it is they need. They rush around messing things up, banging cupboard doors and losing things in their frantic desire to beat the clock. They arrive at their destination out of breath usually late and with items missing and worst of all they experience STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
The six letter word which causes illness, arguments, loss of sleep and anger in our great war against the clock.
Using time wisely is not only an art that we have to think about and learn; it will also enhance the quality of our life and the lives of the people around us who have to suffer from our nervous reactions when we are under stress. Proper time management skills do not come naturally to every body.
Here is a short questionnaire. It will enable to work out your organisational skills thus cutting out some unnecessary stress from your life.
Editor please put in a box for a tick or cross after each point
1. I set myself specific goals and time limits
2. I delegate jobs I know that others can carry out.
3. I estimate correctly the time it will take me to meet the deadline.
4. I usually end up doing things I do not enjoy in the last minute (procrastination)
5. I do the stressful things first.
6. Others around me suffer because I always do things in a rush.
7. I just give up in despair and arrive late or give things in after the due date.
8. I sit down and write an action plan of what needs to be accomplished in order of importance. (I prioritise)
9. I stick to my plans.
10. My plans are usually practical and manageable.
11. I know my limits and try not to undertake more than I can cope with.
12. I say Tehilim or give extra Tzedakah that my plans should work out.
13. I write a daily schedule.
14. I try to become aware of non-essential and non productive activities and make an effort to eliminate them. (such as chatting on the phone or playing computer games)
Sarah Schenirer, the great and holy woman who was the pioneer of Jewish education for girls about ninety years ago used to call the clock Lady Time. “Oh Lady Time”, she used to lament “I have so much to do and you are holding me back.”
Yet in her short life of only 52 years she accomplished so much because she knew how to use time wisely. She had a motto Limnos Yameinu Kein Hoda teach us to count our days rightly so we will know (Tehilim 90:12)
This motto has become one of the trademarks of a Beis Yaakov student.
Although in the beginning you might feel that you are spending too much time on planning how not to waste time, eventually you will recognise that “if you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Good Luck!
Editor please put in a box somewhere in the middle perhaps shaded to look effective.
HINT: When you set yourself a target think “SMART”.
S = specific. Set yourself one target at a time. For example some thing like ‘get ready for school’ should be broken into smaller units such as brush teeth – 5 minutes. Prepare briefcase – 5 minutes. Eat breakfast 10 minutes…….
M = measurable. Do not set yourself a target that cannot be measured in units of time. Therefore writing something like be helpful or be studious is not considered a target. Wash meaty dishes, revise the five times tables would both be considered measurable targets.
A = achievable. Your targets should be within reason and manageable. It is not within reason to allow oneself one night in which to baby sit for your neighbour, finish a book report, study for a test and have a pyjama party. No wonder you’re a nervous wreck by the time it comes to Shabbos!
R = realistic. Be honest with yourself, there are times when you will have to politely say no. Stress is often caused by the inability to admit to yourself or to the other person that this time unfortunately you just cannot manage. If you undertake too much in the long run you are doing more harm than good.
T = Time. Think carefully how much time each action really takes. Most stress is caused by people underestimating how long an action really takes them. In the beginning it might be helpful to actually time yourself doing simple chores. You might be surprised to find for example that making your bed (properly) takes two whole minutes and not two seconds.
Time - the most precious commodity is handed out to human beings in the fairest manner. Everyone receives the same amount of hours per day. There is a concept called 24/7. This means that every day has 24 hours and this 24 hour cycle repeats itself seven times within a week. Then the weekly cycle starts all over again.
No matter if you speak to your cousin in Australia where for her it is already Sunday and for you it is still Motzai Shabbos or to your friend in New York which is six hours ahead, the time span of 24/7 is still the same.
Why is it therefore that some people always seem nervous and agitated because they have so much to do and too little time to do it in? Others have the same things to accomplish and they just seem to breeze calmly through life constantly claiming that they are bored because they’ve finished….If you are one of those people who never get flustered because you are always organised it is time for you to do some soul-searching to pin point your skills and recognise your strengths in order to use them to become even more efficient. You can also of course photo copy this article for family members or friends who are at their wits end.
Unfortunately there are so many people out there whose greatest enemy is the clock. They glance up at that monster whose innocent ticking sounds more like roaring to them as they see that once again they are late. Their hearts start beating fast as they try to grab whatever it is they need. They rush around messing things up, banging cupboard doors and losing things in their frantic desire to beat the clock. They arrive at their destination out of breath usually late and with items missing and worst of all they experience STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
The six letter word which causes illness, arguments, loss of sleep and anger in our great war against the clock.
Using time wisely is not only an art that we have to think about and learn; it will also enhance the quality of our life and the lives of the people around us who have to suffer from our nervous reactions when we are under stress. Proper time management skills do not come naturally to every body.
Here is a short questionnaire. It will enable to work out your organisational skills thus cutting out some unnecessary stress from your life.
Editor please put in a box for a tick or cross after each point
1. I set myself specific goals and time limits
2. I delegate jobs I know that others can carry out.
3. I estimate correctly the time it will take me to meet the deadline.
4. I usually end up doing things I do not enjoy in the last minute (procrastination)
5. I do the stressful things first.
6. Others around me suffer because I always do things in a rush.
7. I just give up in despair and arrive late or give things in after the due date.
8. I sit down and write an action plan of what needs to be accomplished in order of importance. (I prioritise)
9. I stick to my plans.
10. My plans are usually practical and manageable.
11. I know my limits and try not to undertake more than I can cope with.
12. I say Tehilim or give extra Tzedakah that my plans should work out.
13. I write a daily schedule.
14. I try to become aware of non-essential and non productive activities and make an effort to eliminate them. (such as chatting on the phone or playing computer games)
Sarah Schenirer, the great and holy woman who was the pioneer of Jewish education for girls about ninety years ago used to call the clock Lady Time. “Oh Lady Time”, she used to lament “I have so much to do and you are holding me back.”
Yet in her short life of only 52 years she accomplished so much because she knew how to use time wisely. She had a motto Limnos Yameinu Kein Hoda teach us to count our days rightly so we will know (Tehilim 90:12)
This motto has become one of the trademarks of a Beis Yaakov student.
Although in the beginning you might feel that you are spending too much time on planning how not to waste time, eventually you will recognise that “if you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Good Luck!
Editor please put in a box somewhere in the middle perhaps shaded to look effective.
HINT: When you set yourself a target think “SMART”.
S = specific. Set yourself one target at a time. For example some thing like ‘get ready for school’ should be broken into smaller units such as brush teeth – 5 minutes. Prepare briefcase – 5 minutes. Eat breakfast 10 minutes…….
M = measurable. Do not set yourself a target that cannot be measured in units of time. Therefore writing something like be helpful or be studious is not considered a target. Wash meaty dishes, revise the five times tables would both be considered measurable targets.
A = achievable. Your targets should be within reason and manageable. It is not within reason to allow oneself one night in which to baby sit for your neighbour, finish a book report, study for a test and have a pyjama party. No wonder you’re a nervous wreck by the time it comes to Shabbos!
R = realistic. Be honest with yourself, there are times when you will have to politely say no. Stress is often caused by the inability to admit to yourself or to the other person that this time unfortunately you just cannot manage. If you undertake too much in the long run you are doing more harm than good.
T = Time. Think carefully how much time each action really takes. Most stress is caused by people underestimating how long an action really takes them. In the beginning it might be helpful to actually time yourself doing simple chores. You might be surprised to find for example that making your bed (properly) takes two whole minutes and not two seconds.
Thursday, July 23
New Year resolutions
By: Kriendy Scharf
Date: 19/08/2005
New Year resolutions are important. Can you imagine how people would behave if we would not have a Rosh Hashanah to make our Cheshbon Hanefesh? Even business men have their day of reckoning when they have to fill in their tax returns. In this way they know how their business is running and in which area there is a lack of funds. Most people will agree that although a final reckoning is time consuming and sometimes unfortunately you discover things you are not too happy about, at least it keeps us from straying too far from the correct path. So what hints can I give you about those New Year resolutions? The big secret to success is to be RESOLUTE about your RESOLUTIONS. Which means: stick to them. Make them short; make them simple but stick to them. First decide in which area you would like to improve we call that trouble shooting. Next: Think carefully what you can do about that problem. we call that seeking solutions You need a quiet room to do that in or even a quiet corner will do. A good place would be in your bed, just before drifting off into dreamland. Preferably use a pen and paper when you do this process it helps you concentrate. Do not worry about having that paper all neatly marked out. That is not the point of the exercise. You can scribble and doodle through your thought processes. Before you run of to get that blank sheet of paper I'll guide you through a few examples. Trouble Shooting 1: Shira from Vienna shared her weakness with me. My books are shabby, and dog eared with scribbles on the front cover. My teacher once called me over after marking my vocabulary test. She told me I know what you had for supper yesterday. You had yogurt and bread with chocolate spread. I stared at her in amazement. Frankly I was wondering what else she knew about my personal life. Till she showed me my vocabulary book. The last page had bread crumbs, pink yogurt stains and brown smudges on it. We did some Seeking Solutions together. Shira decided that she would no longer study or do homework in the kitchen or eating areas. It was too risky. She would designate an area in the dining room where she would do her work. She even typed out a poster Shira s Homework corner. Shira shared with me that her mother used to test her whilst preparing supper and that sometimes accounted for some oil splattering and further smudges. Shira thought for a while and then came up with the ingenious idea of putting her book in a see through lunch bag first before taking it to her mother. We even tried it out. It was perfect we could read everything very clearly. Shira thought long and hard about the scribbles on the front and the bent curly tops of her pages. In the end she called a friend who had the same problem. They decided that at the end of the first term they would compare their books. The one whose books looked the worse would have to buy a gift to reward her friend! Shira was very enthusiastic about the competition. Trouble Shooting 2: Coming to school the last minute or even worse coming to school late. Seeking Solutions: Prepare everything the night before. You leave nothing for the morning. Your school uniform, your tights, your sewing or art folder leaning onto your school bag so that you can t miss it. Small change for morning Tzedakah, or an envelope with money for lunch. Absolutely nothing is left for the early morning rush. Invest in a packet of those wonderful post-it notes. Stick a reminder on the front door. Take lunch out of fridge. I know a mother who refuses to sign homework, iron school blouses, or give coins in the last minute. She tells them if you don t ask me in a calm dignified manner, I m sorry you’ll just have to deal with your things on your own. Trouble Shooting 3: Rivka knows that she can act fresh. She gets into trouble too often. She claims that her mouth works faster than her mind. Seeking Solutions: Say the magic words I am sorry. Never answer back when you are being told off. Teachers understand that students are not angels. Take it from me a teacher of eighteen years. Students who admit to their weaknesses and apologise are admired for their strength of character. Students who are always arguing about their punishments show lack of character. They feel that they are saving face arguing; in reality the opposite is true. Accept rebuke with grace. Very often kids get themselves into deep trouble not because of their actual misbehaviour but rather because of the way they reacted when they were told off. Nothing wrong with an occasional apology letter if you find facing the teacher too hard. Remember though to be sincere. Starting your first day of school means a start to three terms of three stages.
Stage one: Survival Stage two: Maintenance Stage three: vision.
Stage one has been discussed in great detail - how to survive as a good student. It means basically staying out of trouble and making a good impression. It means meeting deadlines such as arriving on time, finishing projects and giving in homework assignments on schedule.
Stage Two to maintain those resolutions we need to be resolute. Keep looking back and check on yourself regularly for signs of slipping. It means doing that extra bit in order to grow as a student. It means skimming over your notes the night before so that you can participate when the teacher starts with revision work. It means offering to stay longer after school to prepare the walls for open day.
Searching for solutions is part of maintenance.
For instance Pella V wanted to work on the social aspect of school life. She was a good student but very shy and introverted. She bought a small calendar in which she recorded the birthdays of each of her classmates. They were touched that she made sure to remember them and give them a birthday card on their special day. That was all about MAINTAINING friendships. Offering to write notes for a student who will be away is another example of social maintenance.
Stage Three: Vision. You foresee the future. You have hopes, plans and aspirations.
Mascha A. from London has a special folder where she keeps articles of interest or thought provoking poems which she feels might come in use later on when she will be a teacher or group leader. My friend at school had an orange highlighter which she used to highlight interesting stories or parables so that she would find them at a glance. Another friend created her indexed story book over the years where she filed away according to subject, stories told by her school teachers. Wishing you luck in those vital three stages and more about it next time. Perhaps you would like to share with other Mishpacha readers some of your ideas for seeking solutions.
Date: 19/08/2005
New Year resolutions are important. Can you imagine how people would behave if we would not have a Rosh Hashanah to make our Cheshbon Hanefesh? Even business men have their day of reckoning when they have to fill in their tax returns. In this way they know how their business is running and in which area there is a lack of funds. Most people will agree that although a final reckoning is time consuming and sometimes unfortunately you discover things you are not too happy about, at least it keeps us from straying too far from the correct path. So what hints can I give you about those New Year resolutions? The big secret to success is to be RESOLUTE about your RESOLUTIONS. Which means: stick to them. Make them short; make them simple but stick to them. First decide in which area you would like to improve we call that trouble shooting. Next: Think carefully what you can do about that problem. we call that seeking solutions You need a quiet room to do that in or even a quiet corner will do. A good place would be in your bed, just before drifting off into dreamland. Preferably use a pen and paper when you do this process it helps you concentrate. Do not worry about having that paper all neatly marked out. That is not the point of the exercise. You can scribble and doodle through your thought processes. Before you run of to get that blank sheet of paper I'll guide you through a few examples. Trouble Shooting 1: Shira from Vienna shared her weakness with me. My books are shabby, and dog eared with scribbles on the front cover. My teacher once called me over after marking my vocabulary test. She told me I know what you had for supper yesterday. You had yogurt and bread with chocolate spread. I stared at her in amazement. Frankly I was wondering what else she knew about my personal life. Till she showed me my vocabulary book. The last page had bread crumbs, pink yogurt stains and brown smudges on it. We did some Seeking Solutions together. Shira decided that she would no longer study or do homework in the kitchen or eating areas. It was too risky. She would designate an area in the dining room where she would do her work. She even typed out a poster Shira s Homework corner. Shira shared with me that her mother used to test her whilst preparing supper and that sometimes accounted for some oil splattering and further smudges. Shira thought for a while and then came up with the ingenious idea of putting her book in a see through lunch bag first before taking it to her mother. We even tried it out. It was perfect we could read everything very clearly. Shira thought long and hard about the scribbles on the front and the bent curly tops of her pages. In the end she called a friend who had the same problem. They decided that at the end of the first term they would compare their books. The one whose books looked the worse would have to buy a gift to reward her friend! Shira was very enthusiastic about the competition. Trouble Shooting 2: Coming to school the last minute or even worse coming to school late. Seeking Solutions: Prepare everything the night before. You leave nothing for the morning. Your school uniform, your tights, your sewing or art folder leaning onto your school bag so that you can t miss it. Small change for morning Tzedakah, or an envelope with money for lunch. Absolutely nothing is left for the early morning rush. Invest in a packet of those wonderful post-it notes. Stick a reminder on the front door. Take lunch out of fridge. I know a mother who refuses to sign homework, iron school blouses, or give coins in the last minute. She tells them if you don t ask me in a calm dignified manner, I m sorry you’ll just have to deal with your things on your own. Trouble Shooting 3: Rivka knows that she can act fresh. She gets into trouble too often. She claims that her mouth works faster than her mind. Seeking Solutions: Say the magic words I am sorry. Never answer back when you are being told off. Teachers understand that students are not angels. Take it from me a teacher of eighteen years. Students who admit to their weaknesses and apologise are admired for their strength of character. Students who are always arguing about their punishments show lack of character. They feel that they are saving face arguing; in reality the opposite is true. Accept rebuke with grace. Very often kids get themselves into deep trouble not because of their actual misbehaviour but rather because of the way they reacted when they were told off. Nothing wrong with an occasional apology letter if you find facing the teacher too hard. Remember though to be sincere. Starting your first day of school means a start to three terms of three stages.
Stage one: Survival Stage two: Maintenance Stage three: vision.
Stage one has been discussed in great detail - how to survive as a good student. It means basically staying out of trouble and making a good impression. It means meeting deadlines such as arriving on time, finishing projects and giving in homework assignments on schedule.
Stage Two to maintain those resolutions we need to be resolute. Keep looking back and check on yourself regularly for signs of slipping. It means doing that extra bit in order to grow as a student. It means skimming over your notes the night before so that you can participate when the teacher starts with revision work. It means offering to stay longer after school to prepare the walls for open day.
Searching for solutions is part of maintenance.
For instance Pella V wanted to work on the social aspect of school life. She was a good student but very shy and introverted. She bought a small calendar in which she recorded the birthdays of each of her classmates. They were touched that she made sure to remember them and give them a birthday card on their special day. That was all about MAINTAINING friendships. Offering to write notes for a student who will be away is another example of social maintenance.
Stage Three: Vision. You foresee the future. You have hopes, plans and aspirations.
Mascha A. from London has a special folder where she keeps articles of interest or thought provoking poems which she feels might come in use later on when she will be a teacher or group leader. My friend at school had an orange highlighter which she used to highlight interesting stories or parables so that she would find them at a glance. Another friend created her indexed story book over the years where she filed away according to subject, stories told by her school teachers. Wishing you luck in those vital three stages and more about it next time. Perhaps you would like to share with other Mishpacha readers some of your ideas for seeking solutions.
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