Dos Pintele Yid

You will probably realise who I am once you’ve read a few more lines

But for some reason, I don’t want to write my name on this page of rhymes

We have a relationship in which openness and trust

Are of absolute importance and a very big must

And that is why after an insightful lesson at school

Where we analysed yet another poem that was so very cool

I realised that poems say a lot in little space

And decided I would try it out rather than talk face to face

You see, I’m feeling so confused because of our little chat

And feel like hiding my face forever – never thought I’d ever feel like that

I want to try to understand what you are going through

But am finding it so hard myself – with issues not a few

The very next few lines, revealing they may be

Yet I trust that you won’t share them with anybody

For here the trust is both ways – you don’t say nor do I

Any words said between us besides for ‘hi’ and ‘bye’

And after you’ve read this letter all the way to the end

You can make the decision whether to think or to pretend

That nothing is the matter and things are fine all the way

Since perhaps you are hiding your very own face –

Don’t worry: you may hate me for what I say

Are you feeling - like I am

That the struggle’s way too hard?

That the outside (or not so outside) world beckons

It's right in my backyard?

Are you feeling like I am

That it’s really not worth the fight –

Who cares about me anyway –

Who cares whether my actions are wrong or right?

Are you feeling like I am

That the logic and emotions don’t meet

And that the Ruchniyus is fighting

For its place there on the street?

Are you feeling like I am

That the tanker’s running low

And there’s no more fuel in there

-For inspiration where do I go?

Are you feeling like I am

That the way that’s good and true

Is just much too boring

For a fun-loving you?

Am I feeling like you are

Or is my imagination wild

Am I the one that’s dreaming

While you’re just being mild?

Do you wish I’d just get off your back

And say goodbye to you

Or do you realise that I’m spilling it all out

Because of my Ahavah towards you?

And just in case you have forgotten

What I said earlier on

Don’t worry if you share too much about me

With anyone

Since I’ve already realised that I can’t trust anyone anymore

So I’ll just give up trying and just spill my very heart’s contents on the floor

Whatever I am writing is coming straight from my inner core

Then through my brain and fingers, then to your Neshama’s open door

And if you go behind my back and laugh at all you’ve read

I don’t care since what’s the difference?

– Something inside me’s already dead

Know that I do understand the struggle deep inside

Know that Hashem knows even more than you – it’s He that did decide

That this challenge will befall you before you realise it is one

And he loves you every moment still like a cherished son...

...And you are a cherished daughter of the One Who created man

And placed tests on this world for those whom He knows can

Overcome and undertake things they find so hard

And that is why I learn from you and the things you teach I guard

Who cares what the world thinks of what you’re doing or have done

If you know that really in this world there Is only One?

The Bashefer knows your every struggle - every emotion you contain

And even knows the feelings you don’t allow into your brain

Hashem is our father in this world that’s so insane

Where wrong is so blurred with right and growth is just a pain

Whether or not we understand the Rabbonim and the things they expect

Where do my priorities lay – my Yiras Shamayim do I protect?

Do I want to stay with my belief that it is only Yidishkeit

To which I should hang on to with my very strength and blood and might

Or do I want to be swayed by my worse (not bad – a Yiddish child has no bad inside) side

Which tells me it is easier to just be pulled along the tide?

Who cares about the Next World – it’s so so very far off–

If in this world I’m enjoying – things otherwise are tough

And why are others allowed

Things I’m not allowed to do

And nothing happens to their name

That’s not fair – thank you!

How do I say goodbye to the stuff and people I love

If I know they are not good for me but fit me like a glove?

Or perhaps they’ve got me around their finger

With me being the glove and them the hand

Taking me into the freezing temperatures of forbidden land?

And anyway, who says what I’m doing is as bad as they mention?

So what if I talk differently and look places that draw my attention?

Who cares if my Neshama’s slowly wrapped around with layers of the fat

That the outside offers – should I lose some weight of that?

I don’t care that we’re here for a purpose –

To be Mekadeish the Eibershter’s name

Who cares why I was born – I didn’t choose to play this game

Why should I work on myself when in fact I’m not one but two

With both sides inside me battling –

What am I supposed to do?

Am I the girl who is always standing up for what is right

Or the one that’s falling for the things that seem glittering and bright?

Am I the girl who really has the strength deep inside

But is hiding it with layers of acting, confidence and pride?

Am I the girl who scorns the Torah and its sacred ways

Or the one that’s filling thoughts of closeness to Hashem in all her days

Just one more thing – let me tell you – whatever you decide

You’ll always have someone behind you or even at your side

Who still believes you want to be good and are good all the time

Even in those seconds where you’re feeling like a crime

Just know that there are many pairs of eyes looking your way

And whatever direction you choose to take will be noticed straight away

And even if you now don’t see how anything affects,

In the Next World – the one that’s forever - Hashem selects

And judges not by how high on the ladder your Neshamah stands

But on how much your muscles worked whilst grasping with both your hands

That rung so very tightly so that whichever way the winds do blow

You stay and don’t lose footing – in this way you do grow

Before I forget to mention it, let me come and relate

No matter how long it’s been, it never is too late

Hashem is waiting, yearning for your return

For inside every Jew, the Pintele Yid continues to burn

Yours SINCERELY,

You know who