Bayis Ne-eman – HaGefen UK

On Rosh Chodesh Sivan, Bayis Ne-eman – HaGefen UK held a Seudas Rosh Chodesh in Park Avenue Restaurant on Clapton Common in which thirty three shadchonim participated. The gathering was preceeded by a kvias mezuza at the new office on Clapton Common. Rabbi Chaim Michoel Biberfeld, Rav of Tchortkov Beis Medrash is South Tottenham was honoured with kvias hamezuzah which was followed by a lechaim. Rabbi Avrohom Monderer, Rov of Kossov Beis Medrash In Stamford Hill, spoke at the event, giving chizuk to the shadchonim in their avodas hakodesh. This was followed by the main speaker, Rabbi Biberfeld.

Bayis Ne’eman is the new name of the revamped shidduchim organisation HaGefen UK in London.

The organisation is a forum for shadchonim to discuss and brainstorm shidduch ideas in their weekly or forthnightly meetings. The office is a place where dedicated shadchonim with many years of experience in the field operate from. The shadchonim are provided with a comfortable workspace from where to make calls and emails and where they can meet people. It is planned that in the near future ladies shadchaniyos will also be employed and they will work from the office in separate shifts.

Bayis Ne’eman is also the address for parents of singles to turn to; every name is taken seriously and given its due attention. For the askonim at Bayis Ne-eman – HaGefen UK, marrying off any single is considered a chessed whatever the person’s age. It’s all about setting up a Jewish home, a place for hashroas hashchinah.

The new name of the organisation “Bayis Ne-eman – HaGefen UK” heralds a new lease of life to the shidduch scene in London. Several new askonim have become involved to offer support and local Rabbonim are giving their wholehearted encouragement. There are exciting plans for expansion, one example is the employment highly respected shadchonim. Advertisements in the press will make their services more widely known, with the hope that soon we will all be happy to participate at the establishment of many a bayis ne-eman beyisroel.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is this world so unfair? Please don't tell me "We can't understand G-d's ways." I am sick of hearing that. I want an explanation.

Answer:

Are you sure you want an explanation? Do you really want to know why the innocent suffer? I think not. You are far better off with the question than with an answer.

You are bothered by the fact that people suffer undeservedly. As you should be. Any person with an ounce of moral sensitivity is outraged by the injustices of our world. Abraham, the first Jew, asked G-d, "Should the Judge of the whole world not act fairly?" Moses asked, "Why have You treated this people badly?" And today we still ask, "Why G-d, why?"

But what if we found the answer? What if someone came along and gave us a satisfying explanation? What if the mystery were finally solved? What if we asked why, and actually got an answer?

If this ultimate question were answered, then we would be able to make peace with the suffering of innocents. And that is unthinkable. Worse than innocent people suffering is others watching their suffering unmoved. And that's exactly what would happen if we were to understand why innocents suffer. We would no longer be bothered by their cry, we would no longer feel their pain, because we would understand why it is happening.

Imagine you are in a hospital and you hear a woman screaming with pain. Outside her room, her family is standing around chatting, all smiling and happy. You scream at them, "What's wrong with you? Can't you hear how much pain she is in?" They answer, "This is the delivery ward. She is having a baby. Of course we are happy."

When you have an explanation, pain doesn't seem so bad anymore. We can tolerate suffering when we know why it is happening.

And so, if we could make sense of innocent people suffering, if we could rationalise tragedy, then we could live with it. We would be able to hear the cry of sweet children in pain and not be horrified. We would tolerate seeing broken hearts and shattered lives, for we would be able to neatly explain them away. Our question would be answered, and we could move on.

But as long as the pain of innocents remains a burning question, we are bothered by its existence. And as long as we can't explain pain, we must alleviate it. If innocent people suffering does not fit into our worldview, we must eradicate it. Rather than justifying their pain, we need to get rid of it.

So keep asking the question, why do bad things happen to good people. But stop looking for answers. Start formulating a response. Take your righteous anger and turn it into a force for doing good. Redirect your frustration with injustice and unfairness and channel it into a drive to fight injustice and unfairness. Let your outrage propel you into action. When you see innocent people suffering, help them. Combat the pain in the world with goodness. Alleviate suffering wherever you can.

We don't want answers, we don't want explanations, and we don't want closure. We want an end to suffering. And we dare not leave it up to G-d to alleviate suffering. He is waiting for us to do it. That's what we are here for.